I want to ask you a question: Do you carry around a heavy feeling of obligation to set your needs aside to appease others, or to linger in unsatisfying jobs or unfulfilling relationships because you feel overly responsible for the well-being of others?
Deep breath…because I want to share something with you that if I had known was going to happen 20 years ago, I’d have said, “No way am I allowing this to happen. I can’t handle that, and there’s just no way.” Are you ready for this?
My mom moved into my house. She had an injury not too long ago, and she spent several weeks in recovery, and as a family, we made the decision to have her move in with us.
‘Having Mom move in with you’ can mean a lot of different things to different people. For me, I could easily choose to view this as a heavy obligation. My mom and I didn’t have the best relationship for years, especially when I was younger. There are many things that we may never see eye-to-eye on, and many times in my life where the best thing to do was to just love her from afar. That’s just the truth, and I know many people out there share a similar story.
So my close friends all start asking, “Oh my gosh Alena, are you okay? You must feel so obligated!” And you know what? No, I don’t feel obligated. I don’t feel obligated, because I’m making this choice from a place of Inner Peace; a place that I want to help you find for your own life and your own big life decisions. In life, we do have options. I chose to invite my mom to move in with us, because I know we’ll be able to really help her during her time of difficulty. I viewed the situation as being on a trial basis, and if it wasn’t working for me, then it’s probably not what is best for her either! And When you trust that Spirit will provide guidance at the right time and that we are all here to learn together, what the next best step is for all of us, you can find inner peace in that. Imagine if someone who wanted to leave their job could choose to view it as being on a trial basis! That’s hard to do when you’ve been at the same place for years, you have good health insurance, you are building a retirement fund…but guess what? If you feel trapped in your job, and you dread going to work every single day, Spirit is trying to tell you something! Is it that you need to impulsively quit that job right this second? No. Not exactly. What Spirit, your spirit, is telling you, is that you aren’t spending enough time doing the things you love. Now you may be thinking, “Okay, it would be really nice to spend more time doing what I truly want to do with my life, but I don’t have time to just do whatever I want.” And those kinds of messages are not from Spirit. That’s the critical mind chattering down the well-worn neural pathways in our brains that trap us in a loop of dread for our future, heck dread before our present-day to-do lists, but yet so stuck still not doing anything to change the way we are feeling.
We are all Spirit, and when we find ourselves feeling trapped in our own lives, it isn’t because we can’t be free, it’s because we aren’t creating moments for ourselves to feel free. How is the Universe supposed to know that we want more freedom when all we telegraph out are feelings of being trapped? The Universe doesn’t send us the opposite of what we put out there. It gives us more of what we put out there.
So what can we do about that?
It sounds kind of funny but I suggest that you:
Schedule Your Freedom
What does that mean? Well, what are the activities that you love to do? What are the things that carry your mind away from the day-to-day, and allow you to become completely immersed in a whole different mindset? Maybe you love music, or fishing, or planting, or taking nature walks. Whatever it is, doing the things that make you feel free are the baby steps toward becoming free. It’s a lot more important to make time for hobbies and fun activities than we, as a society, are conditioned to believe, and your happiness DESERVES a place on your schedule!
Start small. Schedule a ten-minute music break, where you just kick back and enjoy 2 or 3 of your favorite songs. During these ten minutes, really let yourself do NOTHING but enjoy your music. Give your mind a real rest from focusing on everything else on your to-do list.
Or maybe a ten-minute dance break, if that is what lifts your spirits!
Or you could take a ten-minute nature break, and go for a brisk walk, or get some sun in a comfy chair in your backyard.
What is KEY for helping these moments of freedom to really feed your soul, is for you to treat them like they are important. They are on your schedule and they cannot be overlooked. Treat them with priority just like you would if it were an important work meeting or time to pick your children up from school.
And when you take these moments for yourself, really TAKE them. Surrender all your worries, uncertainties, and thoughts of tomorrow—and let yourself be present and enjoy the gift of time you’ve created for yourself.
You don’t have to FEEL trapped inside your own life, just because you find yourself living with circumstances that you want to change. You don’t have to make huge sudden changes that upheave your foundation, just to free yourself from unwanted obligations. Just start taking baby steps. Create space for yourself during the day to practice feeling free, and watch that space expand all on its own! Use your emotions to teach the Universe about what you do want, instead of telling it constantly about what you don’t want.
I know that Spirit is on YOUR side, and there will be guidance available when the time is right. Guidance for making whatever changes that will be the best for everyone involved. Thank you so much for being a part of the Soul Manifesto community, and if you haven’t had a chance to join, please follow me on Facebook or YouTube, and check us out at SoulManifesto.com where you can contact me directly. I love being able to share our experiences and grow together. Namaste